The Adventures of Phantom!
by xcityxnoisex000
Summary: Random stories about the Phantom, in the style of little children's books. Written with the help of my buddie Jimbo. Rated T for things in later chapters
1. The Phantom Gets a Lollipop

THE PHANTOM GETS A LOLLIPOP

Erik is called 'the phantom.'

He is not happy, because he feels unloved.

Poor Phantom!

Phantom decides to go to the store.

At the store people laugh at him because of his mask.

It makes Phantom sad!

Phantom sees a lollipop.

It is a cherry lollipop.

He takes the lollipop and gives 25 cents to the cashier.

The cashier is polite and says "thank you."

Erik is happy now.

He takes the lollipop out of the wrapper and puts it in his mouth.

It is yummy!

Yay!

Phantom sees people Christmas caroling.

It makes him sad again.

He wants to play music.

Also, it reminds him of Christine.

Poor Phantom!


	2. The Phantom Gets a Teddy Bear

THE PHANTOM GETS A TEDDY BEAR

It is Christmas time.

Phantom is all alone.

He needs a friend.

He sees a little girl in the street and asks her

"Will you be my friend?"

She screams and runs away."

Phantom starts to cry.

He walks down an alleyway, wishing he had another lollipop.

Lollipops make him happy.

In a garbage can, he spots something small and fuzzy.

It's a teddy bear!

Ohe eye is missing,

And it's nose is falling off.

It reminds him of himself.

He names the teddy bear Mini-Phantom and takes him home.

Now he has a friend.


	3. The Phantom Gets a Tuba

**THE PHANTOM GETS A TUBA**

Phantom likes pretty music.

But he has nothing to make music with.

This makes him sad.

Then he hears something.

What is is Phantom hears?

It's a marching band!

Phantom sneaks into the crowd and listens to the music.

It makes him gag.

Stupid marching bands.

He could make much more beautiful music.

If he only had an instrument.

Then Phantom get's an idea.

Quick as lightning, he darts into the band.

He hits the tuba player on the head.

The tuba player is knocked out!

Yay!

Phantom grabs the tuba and jumps into the sewer.

Now he can make pretty music.

Yay Phantom!


	4. Phantom Goes To A VWJNH Meeting Part 1

Author's Note : Sorry I havn't updated this in awhile. I've been swamped lately, not I might be back on track. Plus my co-author still hasn't sent me the two chapters she wrote. SORRY! Won't happen again. Thank's for all the feedback.  


Phantom Goes To A VWJNH Meeting Part One

Phantom needs help.

He has some problems dealing with the unfairness of life.

So he decides to go to a meeting.

The meeting is of a group called VWJNH.

Villans Who Just Need Hugs.

Everyone there looks sad.

Everyone needs a hug.

One man has a scarred face.

His name tag says 'Alec Trevelyan'

Phantom feels better because he's not the only one who is deformed.

Yay!

Another man has a funny red metal hat.

His name tag says 'Magneto'

There is also a strict looking woman gazing out the window.

Her name tag says 'Miss Minchen'

There is someone else too.

But you can't tell what it is!

It's nametag says 'Darth Vader'

He is wering all black, and a helmate hides his face.

He also breathed funny.

Now someone comes into the room.

It is a woman.

She is tall and shiney.

Her nametag says 'Galadriel'.

"Hello everyone"

Galadriel says.

"I'll be helping you open up about your troubles."

She sits down.

"Now let's begin"


	5. Phantom Goes to a VWJNH Meeting Part 2

Author's Note: I am really sorry for not updating this sooner. I have been so amazingly busy these past few weeks, but it's going to settle down soon. Thank you Baffled Seraph for giving me the idea of Captian Hook. I did consider putting in Javert, but he doesn't really meet the 'villan' standers, plus he'd probable arrest you for hugging him.   


Phantom Goes to a VHJNH Meeting Part Two

Galadriel looks at her clip board.

"Mr. Vader, we'll start with you fir-"

CRASH!

A man has come bursting through the door!

I wonder who he is!

He is wereing a bright red velvet coat,

And his hat is large and has a BBBIIIIIIGGGGG feather on it.

He also has a sword.

It is very shiney.

Ooooooo... shiney.

Galadriel looks at him.

"I presume you are Captian James Hook?"

she says.

"Aye."

He's a pirate!

"Please sit down."

Captian Hook sits down.

His hook is shiney.

Oooooo, shiney.

Galadriel shuffles her papers again.

"Well, why don't we all introduce ourselves?"

she says, "State your name, occupation, and

anything you wish to share with the group."

she pauses, "Mr. Vader, you first."

Vader begins, in a very low voice.

"My name is Darth Vader, and I am a Sith lord.

My birth name is Anakin Skywalker, but that man has been dead

for a long time. The planet I come from has lots of sand. I hate sand.

It's itchy, and it always gets everywere, especially in those really sensative areas,

like down your shirt and in your-"

"Ok... enough information there."

Galadriel says, grimacing slightly.

"Mr. Trevelyan, how about you go next."

"Very well." says the scarred man.

"My name is Alec Trevelyan. I was a MI6 agent, before I 'died'

But now I serve as a James Bond villan. My parents are dead, my father killed himself,

and my mother. They were Russian cossacks. I loath James Bond,

Thought he used to be my best friend."

Alec paused dramatically,

"He gave me these scars."

"Awww, isn't that sad. Have a piece of chocolate a piece of chocolate."

Galadriel says, handing him a hershy kiss.

The wrapper is shiney.

(me: you know whats coming)

Ooooo, shiney.

Alec takes it and puts it in his mouth,

"Tank oo."

He says.

"Hey! You didn't give me any chocolate."

Darth Vader says.

He sounds mad!

Oh no!

"Shut it Darthy, you can't eat through that mask. You're almost as whiney as

your son." Galadriel says.

Vader crosses his arms, and leans back, sulking.

"Miss Minchen, you next."


	6. Phantom Goes to a VWJNH Meeting Part 3

Author's Note: Ok... by vote of me and my friends, Javert is not a villan, no neither is Jean Valjean. Ok, about Miss Minchen's name, not I don't know what her real name is, I have never read 'A Little Princess' I was just in the play (as Miss Minchen in fact). So we were trying to figure out her name, and one of the other actors suggested 'Agatha' so her name in this is 'Agatha Minchen'. OK we clear? Good.Next thing, I'm basing the character of Elphaba off of the one in Wizard of Oz, not Wicked, but the back ground I'm getting from Wicked (the book, I haven't seen the musical yet). Ok, on with the story

Phantom Goes to a VWJNH Meeting Part Three

Miss Minchen is next.

She scares Phantom.

Poor Phantom!

Yes, she is a scary woman.

Miss Minchen begins.

"MY DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME!"

Miss Minchen starts to cry and puts her head on the desk.

Poor Miss Minchen!

"Why don't you introduce yourself."

Galadriel says.

"My name is Agatha Minchen. MY DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME!"

She puts her head back on the desk.

"Ok... this is a bit better"

Galadreil says.

"Now, what do you do for a living."

"I..sniffle am the head mistress of a young ladies boarding school."

"Ok, I think that's as far as we're going to get with her... she's having a breakdown. Do you want some chocolate honey?"

Galadriel says.

Miss Minchen takes the chocolate.

The wrapper is shiney.

(me: all together now!)

Oooooh shiney.

Now Mr.-

CRASH!

The window breaks and a green woman on a broomstick falls through.

"Am I late?"

She asks.

"I take it you are Elphaba, aka 'The Wicked Witch of the West'? And yes you are late."

Galadriel says.

"Yes I am."

The green lady replies.

"Well how about you go next. State your name, occupation, and tell us something about yourself."

"Fine."

Elphaba begins

"Ok, you already said my name, but you can call me Elfie of you'd like. my occupation is: Witch. I also torment the people of Oz. But that's only because they treat the Animals badly of course. And they killed my sister, and my lover, and my teacher."

"Ok then. Have a chocolate."

Galadriel hands her a chocolate.

(me: ok... I'm not going to bother this time, you know it already.)

"Phantom, how about you go next."


	7. Phantom Goes to a VWJNH Meeting Part 4

Author's Note: Sorry I take so long to update. I'm always so busy.

* * *

Phantom Goes to a VWJNH Meeting Part Four 

Phantom is nervous.

"I was the Ghost of the Paris Opera House."

He says.

He does not speak.

"Is that is Erik?"

Galadriel asks.

"CHRISTINE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

Phantom starts crying.

Poor Phantom!

Darth Vader sobs,

"PADME AND MUMMY DIED!"

He starts crying (or so we think, we can't tell)

Poor Darthy!

"NO ONE EVER LOVED ME TOO!"

Captian Hook starts crying too!

Poor Captain!

"JAMES BETRAYED ME!"

Alec starts crying too!

Poor Alec!

"NO ONE LOVED ME BECAUSE I WAS GREEN!"

Elphaba aka Wicked Witch starts crying,

Poor Elphaba aka Wicked Witch

"DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME!"

Agatha (who's real name is Maria, sorry) is crying too!

Poor Agatha/Maria!

Galadriel is loosing it!

Poor Galadriel!

"YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

Galadriel starts crying!

Now Galadirel starts banging her head on the desk.

"EAT CHOCOLATE ALL OF YOU!"

She screams.

They all eat chocolate.

The wrappers are shiney.

Oooh shiney (hehe couldn't resist)


	8. Phantom Goes To a VWJNH Meeting Part ah ...

Author's Note: I'M BACK! Sorry about taking so long... I could just say I had a writer's block, but in truth, I was just being lazy. I apologize my loves, can you ever forgive me? Well... I just watched the movie so now I have new inspiration. YAY INSPIRATION! Also, I know people generally don't get drunk in kids books, that is why this is rated PG-13.

* * *

PHANTOM GOES TO A VWJNH MEETING PART... AH TO HELL WITH WHAT PART IT IS! (aka, everyone gets drunk)

Galadriel has lost it.

Poor Galadriel!

Phantom decides to give her a hug!

Yay Phantom!

Galadriel still bangs her head on the desk.

Her hair is shiney...

Ooh... shiney.

Magically, beer has appeared!

Everyone starts to drink the beer.

Phantom is drunk!

Yay Phantom!

They start to sing 'The Drunken Sailor'

It is off key.

Phantom gets mad.

"YOU'RE ALL OFF KEY!"

He screams.

Poor Phantom!

He hates it when people sing off key.

It reminds him of Carlotta.

Carlotta reminds him of Christine.

Now Phantom is sad.

Poor Phantom!

Phantom begins to cry.

They all drown their sorrows in beer.

Yay beer!

Phantom is really drunk!

Phantom passes out!


	9. Phantom Gets a Hangover & Eats Pie

Author's Note: I'M BACK! I have been suffering from a mixture of too much camp and theatre rehersals and severe writer's block. BUT NO MORE! Ok then...

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Phantom of the Opera, if I did, I would either be dead, or an old British Guy who writes awsome musicals (a talent I lack)

* * *

PHANTOM GETS A HANGOVER & EATS PIE  


Phantom wakes up.

He is magically back in his home.

YAY!

But Phantom has a headache!

Poor Phantom!

Phantom wants an asprin,

but he can't find one!

Oh no!

Poor Phantom!

Phantom is hungry.

So Phantom looks in the refrigerator.

What's in the refrigerator?

Moldy cheese!

The cheese is green!

Phantom smells it,

Phantom passes out!

YAY PHANTOM!

Phantom wakes up (again).

Now he has an even worse headache!

Poor Phantom!

What else is in the refrigerator?

PIE!

Phantom likes pie.

Pie is yummy.

YAY!

It is apple pie.

YAY!

Phantom eats the apple pie with a fork.

The fork is shiney...

OOOH SHINEY!

Now Phantom is happy!

YAY PHANTOM!


	10. Phantom is Attacked By Rabid Fangirls

Author's Note: I'M UPDATING! WHOO! Isn't it just dandy? I'm working on the next chapter too, which will be 'phantom is mobbed by members of PETA' in honor of my becoming vegan.

Ok, this chapter is for my friend Isabelle, a rabid fangirl.

Don't kill me, please.

* * *

PHANTOM IS ATTACKED BY RABID FANGIRLS  


Phantom is full after eating pie.

Phantom decides to go for a walk.

Outside, it is snowing.

The snow reminds him of the roof of the Opera House were he saw Christene and Raoul.

It makes him sad.

Poor Phantom!

The snow also makes Phantom cold.

Poor Phantom!

But Phantom notices something...

what could if be?

A group of girls is following him.

The girls scare Phantom.

Oh no!

Phantom turns down a dark alley.

But they still follow him.

Phantom now realized that the girls are no ordanary girls

(organ playing: duh duh duh!)

They're FANGIRLS! (ghasp, horrors, and shock!)

Phantom starts to run!

But the fangirls follow!

Oh no!

The alley is a dead end!

What will Phantom do?

Phantom is cornered, and surrounded by fangirls.

"Like, oh my god, can I, like, give you a hug?" Fangirl #1 asks.

She scares Phantom.

He doesn't answer.

The Fangirls are closing in on him.

Phantom wants to run away, but he can't.

The Fangirls all start hugging him!

Oh no!

Now Phantom will be tainted with Fangirl-ness.

NOOOOO!

Phantom sees a drain!

He jumps down the drain, away from the fangirls.

Phantom had escaped!

YAY!


	11. Halloween Special!

Author's Note: I know, I haven't updated in forever, life's been really busy lately... but I'm doing a halloween special for you right now... see I love you all! Also, I'm making Phantom watch Nightmare Before Christmas in honor of Dee, it 'twas her marvelous idea.

* * *

THE ADVENTURES OF PHANTOM HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!  


Phantom likes candy.

Candy makes him happy.

YAY CANDY!

It's Halloween.

You get candy on Halloween!

YAY CANDY!

Halloween makes Phantom happy because he gets candy!

YAY HALLOWEEN!

Phantom does not need a costume to trick-or-treat.

He already had a mask!

This Halloween Phantom will watch the movie 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'

It is a good movie.

YAY!

Phantom likes 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'

Phantom has a crush on Sally from the movie...

AWWWW!

Phantom sings along to 'This Is Halloween'

YAY PHANTOM!

Now Phantom shall go trick-or-treating!

YAY!

Phantom gets lots of candy!

It makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside!

YAY CANDY!

* * *

Happy Halloween meh dahlings!  



	12. Phantom is Confused By The Peta Demons

Author's Note: I haven't updated sense Halloween, I know. I deserve to be tarred and feathered and whatnot…. I give you permission to hunt me down and murder me till I'm dead, but keep in mind, if you do that, I'll never write another chapter (double edged sword isn't it my loves?). Ok… on with the chapter.

* * *

PHANTOM IS CONFUSED BE THE PETA DEMONS  


Outside, it is cold.

Phantom decides to go for a walk in the cold.

He likes the cold.

The street is wet from melting snow.

The melting snow is slushy.

Ick!

Slushy snow makes Phantom get wet.

Poor Phantom!

But Phantom doesn't mind.

He is happy to be outside.

On the corner, he sees a group of people holding signs.

What could the signs say?

They have the letters 'P'

'E'

'T'

And

'A'

Written on them.

What does PETA mean?

Phantom asks a man in the crowd.

The man says PETA means

PEOPLE

For the

ETHICAL

TREATMENT

Of

ANIMALS.

The man gives Phantom a flyer.

It has lots of big words on it.

'Ethical' is a big word.

Phantom is confused!

Poor Phantom!

What could ethical mean?

Phantom sees the word 'veganism' on the paper.

He doesn't know what veganism is either!

Poor Phantom!

His head hurts from wondering!

The crowd begins to ask him questions.

Someone asks if he's vegan or vegetarian.

Phantom's poor head!

He's so confused!

Oh no!

The crowd is scary!

The PETA people's eyes are turning red.

AHHH! FEAR THE PETA DEMONS!

Phantom runs away as fast as he can until he reaches home.

Phantom hugs his teddy bear Mini Phantom.

Phantom feels better.

But he is still confused.

Can you tell Phantom what the big words mean so his head won't hurt?


	13. Phantom and the Hippies!

Author's Note: Yes, I don't update this enough, and I should burn in the depths of hell for not updating more. Oh, shame on me. This chapter is sorta PG-13... drug use... hippies... hehe... yeah. Um... and I get mildly political in this one... just so you know, I'm very liberal, and I loath George Bush with the burning passion of a thousand suns. Yes, these are modern hippies.

* * *

PHANTOM MAKES FRIENDS WITH HIPPIES

Phantom has gone back outside.

This time he brings Mini Phantom with him to keep him company.

Phantom walks down the street carrying Mini Phantom.

He sees people chained to a fence.

They are holding signs and yelling.

Phantom wonders why they are chained to the fence.

They all have long hair, and many of them wear tye-dye shirts.

Phantom has heard of people like this,

they're called HIPPIES!

Phantom decides to go see the hippies.

One of the Hippies has a guitar, which he plays badly, and sings off-key.

Phantom hates people singing off-key and playing badly!

"YOU'RE OFF-KEY! AND YOU PLAY BADLY"

He screams, and takes the guitar from the Hippie.

Now Phantom sits down and plays the guitar himself.

The Hippie is too stoned to notice!

Phantom reads the Hippie's signs.

They say things like:

"NO BLOOD 4 OIL!"

and

"PEACE IN IRAQ!"

Phantom thinks 'WTF?'

Phantom is obviously not very political.

He wants to be political like the hippies!

One of the hippies passes him a rolled up piece of paper.

"Try this, man," the hippie says.

Phantom sucks on the piece of paper.

COUGHCOUGHCOUGH

It makes Phantom cough!

Poor Phantom!

"You'll get used to it"

Said the hippie.

Phantom inhales again.

It makes him feel woozy.

ooohhh... pretty colors...

Phantom likes the pretty colors.

Yay Phantom!

He wants to chase the rainbow butterfly!

RAINBOW BUTTERFLY MAKE PRETTY RAINBOWS IN THE SKY!!!!!

PRETTY COLORS! PRETTY COLORS! OOOHHH SHINEYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!

Phantom askes what the rolled-up paper is.

"Wha's dis call?"

"Mary Jane, my masked friend." the hippie tells him.

"I likes dish 'Mara Jane'." says Phantom.

Phantom has a new friend!

'Mary Jane' is Phantom's friend.

YAY PHANTOM!!!!

PRETTY COLOR RAINBOW BUTTERFLY OOOOHHH SHINNEEEYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
